About the cover photo already. Two omnipresent devices –familial obligation and ticking biological clocks– landed me on a cruise to Ensenada, Mexico over the summer. I opted to not inform the cruise line (Royal Caribbean) that I was a vegetarian ahead of time, in hopes that time spent foraging would fill most of the daily malaise, and keep me well clear of the drunkfest on the swim deck.

No dice.

There was a vegetarian option at every turn: a featured vegetarian dish at each formal dinner (avoid the buffalo mozzarella however – clearly a cost-cutting taking place on the white goo), sauteed vegetables, savory pastries and rice for lunch (and bright red Sriracha sauce to keep things interesting), and alongside the typical vegetarian fare common in American breakfasts, there was a miso soup bar each morning, with broth, scallions, cilantro, mushrooms, tofu, and the aforementioned Sriracha. There was even a mediocre-to-bad midnight burrito bar one evening. For a Mexican food fan like myself, every little bit helps. All in all, chalk it up to a full stomach weekend and one terribly soaked liver.

However, satiation aside, let me point out that NKRH does not condone cruises by any means. They are innocuous ways to fail to truly see the world. They’re madly gross polluters. They sit uncomfortably high on terrorist target lists. And honestly, cruises hold no real value other than the hope for a handful of young single folks that they might actually get laid before they pass out and puke on themselves.

NKRH Travel Tip #1: Avoid cruises at all cost.